Outbreak! Here!

We gots the pig virus! And by "we," I mean right here where I live.

The Alabama Department of Public Health is supposed to fill us in with the details soon. But given this state's history, they'll probably tell us to pray and hold exorcisms for the afflicted.

Sucks to your assmar, ID supporters

Darwin's Radio: Prehistoric Gene Reawakens to Battle HIV

'The next great war will start inside us. In the next stage of evolution, mankind is history'.
Greg Bear, Darwin's Radio

About 95% of the human genome has once been designated as "junk" DNA. While much of this sequence may be an evolutionary artifact that serves no present-day purpose, some junk DNA may function in ways that are not currently understood. The conservation of some junk DNA over many millions of years of evolution may imply an essential function that has been "turned off." Now scientists say there's a junk gene that fights HIV. And they've discovered how to turn it back on.

Republicans Continue To Turn The Whackaloon Up To 11

Shouldn't SOMEONE in the Republican Party publicly repudiate this?

Movie Review: Frost/Nixon

I have never been so mesmerized by a non-artsy talky. Well, except for The Queen, which was written by the same guy. It must be watched to be believed: who knew the story behind Frost's interview of Nixon could be anything more interesting than vomit drying?

International Feel Sorry For Yourself Day

I Still Hate The Fuckers

The Alabama House of Representatives passed a bill adding homos and lesbos to the current anti-hate crime laws. They did this the same week they supported Ms. California for giving a technically wrong answer badly when asked if gays should be allowed to marry (read: use the same water fountain as tax-sucking breeders).

Even this victory is bittersweet: transgenders were not included. And I stopped giving money to the HRC for this very reason: they supported a national bill which included gays and lesbians but excluded trangenders. And the latter are the people who are targeted and victimized the most. In my raging, angry opinion, we all of us go or none of us do. How can any gay dude look a tranny in the eye and say, "Well, at least we're protected...we'll get to you later."

That said: fuck our House of Representitives sideways with a chainsaw. I wouldn't walk across the street to jack off on a one of them. And a goodly many might like that...

Perhaps the promise of space booze will get Congress to make space exploration a priority....

From the Guardian.co.uk
Galaxy's centre tastes of raspberries and smells of rum, say astronomers

Finding amino acids in interstellar space is a Holy Grail for astrobiologists, as this would raise the possibility of life emerging on other planets after being seeded with the molecules.

In the latest survey, astronomers sifted through thousands of signals from Sagittarius B2, a vast dust cloud at the centre of our galaxy. While they failed to find evidence for amino acids, they did find a substance called ethyl formate, the chemical responsible for the flavour of raspberries.

"It does happen to give raspberries their flavour, but there are many other molecules that are needed to make space raspberries," Arnaud Belloche, an astronomer at the Max Planck Institute for Radio Astronomy in Bonn, told the Guardian.

Curiously, ethyl formate has another distinguishing characteristic: it also smells of rum.

Sunday Comic

Hopefully They Aren't Only About Boning Chicks And Getting Drunk

Researchers discovered 47 letters by Benjamin Franklin previously unknown. No word yet as to how much he praised Jesus throughout them, but we can all presuppose...

Outbreak!

Swine flu is spreading. Bad.

"We are worried and because we are worried, we are working aggressively on a number of fronts," said Schuchat, the interim deputy director for the CDC's science and public health program.

"It is clear that this is widespread. And that is why we have let you know that we cannot contain the spread of this virus."

Wash your hands and avoid people at all costs. And if someone coughs around you, hold your breath and run in the other direction.

For the readers of this blog, that means business as usual...

I Just Had To Post This Photo

We love you John!

Taste test

Cook's Illustrated

You only use a grind or two on your food, so does it really matter what brand of peppercorn you buy?

Count me out, however, on the one with “slightly pungent barnyard flavors”.

Alabamastan, indeed

Honoring Miss California
Neal Boortz

The Alabama legislature has decided that they have nothing else left to do. All of Obama's stimulus money has been spent. All local Little League baseball teams have been congratulated. So now they are moving on to Miss California. The House approved a resolution praising Miss California Carrie Prejean for speaking out against gay marriage.

Now there is a great use of your tax dollars. Sure am glad there are no more pressing issues in Alabamastan. It's not that I disagree with the resolution, it's just that there are more pressing issues to deal with. Also .. the resolution should have said something about aftermarket equipment.

This story is useless without video, right?

A glimpse of the future

Festo Aqua Ray

Festo Air Penguin

Festo US

I like it

De-Animator

And If He Wins, I'm Running To Another State...Make That Country

Roy Moore, the modern idol of all morondom, says he'll probably run for governor of Alabama. Again? Oh dear.

Some quotes from True Christian(TM), noted judicial scholar, and Real American(TM) Non-Activist (unless Jesus needs judicial activism) Judge Roy Moore:

• It can have a secular purpose and have a relationship to God because God was presumed to be both over the state and the church, and separation of church and state was never meant to separate God from government.
  
• It would bother me if a judge told me how I had to believe. (irony...meter...busted...)
  
• The First Amendment to the Constitution reflects that concept recognized in the Ten Commandments, that the duties we owe to God and the manner of discharging those duties are outside the purview of government. (Where in these commandments is government mentioned once, let alone its "purview" defined?)
  
• The point is that knowledge of God is not prohibited under the First Amendment. (WTF?)
  
• I stand before the Court of the Judiciary because I've done my oath. I've kept my oath. I have acknowledged God as the moral foundation of our law.
  
• God has chosen this time and this place so we can save our country and save our courts for our children. (Always for the children...)
• I believe that God is leading me to uphold the laws in Alabama and guide its policies. (His imaginary friend tells him how to uphold laws?)
  

And my favorite:

To disfavor practicing homosexuals in custody matters is not invidious discrimination, nor is it legislating personal morality. On the contrary, disfavoring practicing homosexuals in custody matters promotes the general welfare of the people of our State in accordance with our law, which is the duty of its public servants. Providing for the common good involves maintaining a public morality through both our criminal and civil codes, based upon the principles that right conscience demands, without encroaching on the jurisdiction of other institutions and the declared rights of individuals.

The State may not interfere with the internal governing, structure, and maintenance of the family, but the protection of the family is a responsibility of the State. Custody disputes involve decision-making by the State, within the limits of its sphere of authority, in a way that preserves the fundamental family structure. The State carries the power of the sword, that is, the power to prohibit conduct with physical penalties, such as confinement and even execution. It must use that power to prevent the subversion of children toward this lifestyle, to not encourage a criminal lifestyle.

Roy Moore believes that being a homo is a "criminal lifestyle." And he's running for governor. Of my state.

Although, it might be fun to find out exactly what it takes to force Obama to send the National Guard into Montgomery. Criminal persecution of homos? Giant crosses on public grounds? Ten Commandments posted in all schools? Prosecution of university professors for "subverting the family" by teaching not-the-bible? Who knows what crazy, anti-constitutional, bible-banging nonsense will cause our first black president to send in the National Guard. To Alabama. To stop a governor.

I changed my mind! I'm in: you can count on my vote Roy.

Judge Roy Moore reading something about graven images.

Thanks to Ed Brayton.

A cure for colony collapse?

New research has proposed both a concrete cause for bee colony collapse disorder, as well as a cure.

There may finally be some good news when it comes to colony collapse disorder. Starting a few years ago, apiarists began noticing that honey bee colonies were dying off in record numbers. A whole host of suggestions were put forward as to why—some reports even attempted to link cell phone usage with the loss of honey bees. Oddball suggestions aside, detailed studies into the DNA and health of the bees found that fungal invaders or viruses were potential causes of the large-scale collapses.

How to advertise a new type of TV

I'm not really afraid of clowns, but I feel better when they're not around:

(discovered by Tobermory)

For the typography snob in all of us

Typeface Inspired by Comic Books Has Become a Font of Ill Will

Vincent Connare designed the ubiquitous, bubbly Comic Sans typeface, but he sympathizes with the world-wide movement to ban it.

Mr. Connare has looked on, alternately amused and mortified, as Comic Sans has spread from a software project at Microsoft Corp. 15 years ago to grade-school fliers and holiday newsletters, Disney ads and Beanie Baby tags, business emails, street signs, Bibles, porn sites, gravestones and hospital posters about bowel cancer.

The font, a casual script designed to look like comic-book lettering, is the bane of graphic designers, other aesthetes and Internet geeks. It is a punch line: "Comic Sans walks into a bar, bartender says, 'We don't serve your type.'" On social-messaging site Twitter, complaints about the font pop up every minute or two. An online comic strip shows a gang kicking and swearing at Mr. Connare.

Free font:
I Hate Comic Sans

If You're Going To Ass-Fuck Your Straw Man Until It Bleeds While Calling It "Faggot" To Get You Off, Please Do It In The Privacy Of Your Own Church

Friday was the National Day of Silence sponsored by the Gay, Lesbian, and Straight Education Network, an organization that, "works with educators, policy makers, community leaders and students on the urgent need to address anti-LGBT behavior and bias in schools." All the students and teachers participating in the National Day of silence do is remain silent unless speaking is required for schoolwork. Students CHOOSE to do this to support GLBT students who are ridiculed, mocked, and bullied.

Well some Christer church in Illinois decided to take that simple, non-violent, non-aggressive approach to awareness and turn it into full-blown Nazi, fascist, communist, socialist, anti-religion, anti-expression, bible-burning, Jesus-hating, Roman-lion executions, and Anti-Christ worshiping loonacy.

Try not to choke on your own sick as you laugh and cry during this piece of work, sponsored by the Prince of Peace and brought to by some precious Lambs of Yahweh.



Why would any homo not turn to drugs, alcohol, and promiscuous sex after hearing that? I was hoping to die of AIDS by the 5th minute!

The Timeline Of Intelligent Design

I'm excited

Alternate universe, time travel, I don't care, as long as it's fun!

Love the XKCD

Why Everyone Needs A Gay

If you decide to make a political statement and you don't have any gays to go, "Eghh, eghh, eghh... Let's reconsider that name," you're likely to be sorry.

And the people with gays? They'll do this:

Why We Fight

The adherence to the ancient proscriptions of dead ignoramuses hurt living people now. It hurts people who have hurt no one, just some homos and lesbos and trannies who want a family. And it does hurt:

For most gay couples, missing out on such federal rights is a small setback in a much larger victory. But for binational couples like Sissi and Janet, it doesn’t solve the single biggest problem they face: the need for a green card. The right that matters most to them—the right to sponsor a spouse for immigration benefits—happens at the federal level

DOMA must be repealed, and this injustice must be revoked. And for now on, whenever anyone advocates an amendment to a constitution (state or federal) stating, "Marriage is between a man and a woman," we should all insist that it includes a final phrase:

"for life, no exceptions."

It's easy to defend marriage against made-up demons based on ignorant bigotry; let's see them defend it against themselves.

No more Mr. Nice Gay.

Note To Republicans: Tea Bagging Is Naughty

I hope they don't decide to have a Million Satchmo March next.

And I have one question for these tea baggers: where the hell have you been for the past 8 years? It's as if a bunch of dopey rich Republican machine types decided to rile some clueless Christers to hold protests promoting fiscal responsibility now that said dopey rich Republicans' spend-crazy fetus lover is out of the White House and they don't control the earmarks and pork in Congress anymore.

Oh...

I'm thinking that it's a matter of perspective

That's What I'm Talking About

No more Mr. Nice Gay.

My Favorite Book Of Childhood

HD version here.

Clearly, much has been added to the simple story I loved as a kid. Can Spike Jonze pull it off?

I Love Me Some Space Sickness

David Bowie's son has made a movie about a guy on the moon. I can't wait.

A "Wretched" Critique

I caught some of "Wretched" radio today. During it, they replayed some of the Hitchens interview I posted earlier.

They seemed to think that Hitchens avoided their questions and was "snarky." Of course he did answer all of their questions; they just didn't like the answers. And Todd Friel calling someone snarky is foie-gras rich.

But here's the kicker: Todd admitted that his strategy for this interview was to ignore Hitchens' responses and "go right for the conscience." So he criticizes Hitchens for allegedly not answering the questions, answers that were going to be ignored regardless. So Hitchens was the "snarky" one?

The goal of this tactic is to make a person feel guilty and "wretched," so that they understand that they need Jesus to save them from their iniquities. It's transparently stupid, easily refutable, and as theologically debase as it is intellectually vapid. No thoughtful atheist is going to be impressed by, let alone "saved" by, such drivel. It's like asking Todd if he's afraid of the sticky wrath of the great species of Ju Ju Bees on Planet Good'N'Plenty for not thanking them daily at exactly 4:27 EST for providing the human race with all sugar products. Why should he be?

Watch Closely

Ahura Mazda dammit

Yowza, Clyde Squid, perhaps we can call on the superpowers of David Hume to make Mr. Warren stop thinking he's a rational being- Rick seems easily swayed by buncombe. BTW, does God use the Batphone to talk to him, or what?

From LGF:

The Rick Warren Experience

Fox News is promoting Rick Warren like crazy tonight.

It’s all part of the big cleanup.

Rick Warren’s not a progressive Jerry Falwell. Really. He’s not. Pay no attention to those men behind the curtain.

God talks to Rick every day. And God told Rick that evolution stinks.

Do you believe Creation happened in the way Genesis describes it?

WARREN: If you’re asking me do I believe in evolution, the answer is no, I don’t. I believe that God, at a moment, created man. I do believe Genesis is literal, but I do also know metaphorical terms are used. Did God come down and blow in man’s nose? If you believe in God, you don’t have a problem accepting miracles. So if God wants to do it that way, it’s fine with me.

HARRIS: I’m doing my Ph.D. in neuroscience; I’m very close to the literature on evolutionary biology. And the basic point is that evolution by natural selection is random genetic mutation over millions of years in the context of environmental pressure that selects for fitness.

WARREN: Who’s doing the selecting?

HARRIS: The environment. You don’t have to invoke an intelligent designer to explain the complexity we see.

WARREN: Sam makes all kinds of assertions based on his presuppositions. I’m willing to admit my presuppositions: there are clues to God. I talk to God every day. He talks to me.

Called it a mile away

Knew it would end with Navy Seal snipers. There was, in the end, no other way, they were pirates after all - Hostage captain rescued; Navy snipers kill 3 pirates

In Protest Of The Watchmen Movie's Biggest Flaw

I must have one.

Happy Easter

My Blogger comment capability = FUBAR

I shall keep trying to discover why I cannot post comments on my own damn blog. Keep up the great posting, Clyde Squid, I'm still reading.

But for our Bill of Rights...

The Free World Bars Free Speech
By Jonathan Turley, WaPo

In May 2008, Dutch prosecutors arrested cartoonist Gregorius Nekschot for insulting Christians and Muslims with a cartoon that caricatured a Christian fundamentalist and a Muslim fundamentalist as zombies who meet at an anti-gay rally and want to marry.

Last September, Italian prosecutors launched an investigation of comedian Sabina Guzzanti for joking about Pope Benedict VXI. "In 20 years, [he] will be dead and will end up in hell, tormented by queer demons, and very active ones," she said at a rally.

"Wretched" Slapped Down

I posted earlier of a conversation I heard on "Wretched Radio" on SiriusXM (I won't link to the actual site).

Christopher Hitchens actually agreed to an interview with this horrid-yet-intriguing show, and I stayed in my car to hear it.

If you want to fully understand the disconnect between fundamentalist evangelical Christians and rational atheists, listen in full to the following. The host, Todd Friel (who, in the spectrum of morondom, is of the lowest wavelength), proposes a "game" in which Hitchens has to answer "what if."

This tactic is a poor mutation of their common and banal proselytizing screed, and Hitchens handles it mightily. Hilariously, Friel doesn't know how to handle the (to him) inexplicable rationality from our favorite polemicist. Like all ridiculous, deluded fools, Friel keeps asserting the same nonsense in the hope of getting his favored response. Hitchens instead gives us the most hilarious pwn we could hope for.

Yes, That Is Eli Roth

It comes in red & black, as well

My Little Cthulhu

I Need A Trip To New York

The Toxic Avenger Musical

Gay Marriage Is So EVIL It Forces Good Christian Folk To Be Lying Phonies

Some Christer anti-homo group called the National Organization for Marriage made a scary ad detailing all the horrible things that gay marriage is doing to decent, breeding folk. It'll be running on all the major cable news stations, but you should watch it--in full--now.



Wow, all those goodly Christian Americans have really been negatively affected by allowing lying fascist reprobate homos to get hitched. Would you like to learn more about their individual stories, detailing how each of these very sincere, rights-loving, church-going Lambs of God were demonstrably hurt by fag marriage?

Well, here you go:




Thanks to the HRC.
__________________________________________

Can you believe that the good Christian folk at the National(ist) Organization for (self-described) Marriage made YouTube pull the videos of their actors' auditions for their fake testimony based, not on actual personal testimonies, but on baseless straw-man inventions of their faith-deluded, fear-ridden, bigoted neuron clusters?

Of course you can...

That Makes 4

Vermont's House and Senate voted to override the governor's veto of the gay marriage bill.

Domination

UNC won the basketball national championship.

Alabama is next, only in football. In 2 years...

It wasn't even close.

Prepare For Fundie Christian Protestations

President Obama in Turkey today:

I've said before that one of the great strengths of the United States is, although as I mentioned we have a very large Christian population, we do not consider ourselves a Christian nation or a Jewish nation or a Muslim nation. We consider ourselves a nation of citizens who are bound by ideals and a set of values.

I can't wait to find out how the Christers are going to twist, misquote, and generally take umbrage at such an enlightened statement about an Enlightenment-founded government.

It's only a matter of time.

Brain Researchers Open Door to Editing Memory - NYT.

It's Going To Be Like Having Diarrhea In Reverse

Debbie Gibson and Lorenzo Lamas have been teamed up in what can only be the saddest worst movie I have ever looked forward to having my demented subconscious override my every reasonable faculty and force me to watch.

Mega Shark Vs. Giant Octopus

Looks like someone poured a big clusterfuck bowl full of Captain Crap cereal with extra Shitberries.

How To Get The Last Word

I caught the end of a conversation between an evangelical and a call-in atheist; it was on the Christian radio channel on SiriusXM. After getting the Christian host to not answer any real questions (instead the dope replied with standard evangelical nonsense), the atheist got the last word with this:

You don't like your life. That's why you wish for another.

The host's reply was confusion as to what the caller meant by that statement. But we all get it...

For Iowa

Given the news today, I was reminded of a song from my rebel youth: The Dead Milkmen's "Stuart." Emphasis mine:

...

I first became aware of this, about 10 years ago, the summer my oldest boy Bill Jr. died. You know that carnival that comes to town every year? Well this year it came with a ride called the Mixer. The man said "Keep your head and arms inside the mixer at all times." But Bill Jr., he was a daredevil, just like his old man. He was leaning out saying, "Hey everybody! Look at me, look at me!" POW! He was decapitated. They found his head over by the snowcone concession. A few days after that, I open up the mail and there's a pamphlet in there, from Pueblo, Colorado. And it's addressed to Bill Jr. And it's entitled, "Do you know what the queers are doing to our soil?"

Now Stuart, if you look at the soil around any large U.S. city with a big underground homosexual population - Des Moines, Iowa, perfect example. Look at the soil around Des Moines, Stuart. You can't build on it, you can't grow anything in it. The government says it's due to poor farming. But I know what's really going on, Stuart. I know it's the queers. They're in it with the aliens. They're building landing strips for gay Martians. I swear to God.

You know what Stuart, I like you. You're not like the other people, here in the trailer park.

Who knew The Dead Milkmen were visionary?

Would That We Could Un-immunize People

Here's a great new site: Jenny McCarthy Body Count.

Jenny and hubby Jim Carrey have an autistic kid and are against immunizations. If you believe them, you should go to your preacher to do your taxes and your doctor to fix your car.

The Gays Start Winning

It was a good day for the gays.

• Iowa's Supreme Court unanimously ruled that banning gay marriage was unconstitutional; overturning it would take years and the will of the legislature, whose heads praised the decision and stated that they would not start a constitutional amendment procedure.
• Vermont's legislature passed a gay marriage bill just 5 votes shy of being veto-proof (the Republican fart-faced governor has said that he would veto it).
• Washington moved closer to passing a "civil unions = marriage" bill.

California, like all states with ballot initiatives, doesn't need to focus on gay marriage. They need to focus on getting rid of ballot initiatives. They are populist and barbaric at best, and they are demonstrably anti-republican and anti-minority.

In the meantime, I guess I need to plan a vacation to Des Moines. I'm all about supporting the economies of pro-gay states.

When geeks ruled the internet

The site has a counter begun in 1997,
& hasn't been updated since 2000.
Be patient- it's an animated GIF from the halcyon days of the web.