Herding Cats In Alabama

I'm all for it: Secular Coalition of Alabama.

And remember, while one may have difficulty herding atheist cats, just point the pride to a wounded gazelle and they will all leap in unison. And our fair state is lousy with wounded gazelles.

Kneel Before Neil!

After putting his unique, subversive spin on a debate between Bill O'Reilly and the president of the American Atheists (about the "scams" sign in Huntsville), Stephen Colbert is graced by a hilarious appearance by show favorite Neil deGrasse Tyson.

The Colbert Report	Mon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c
Bill O'Reilly Proves God's Existence - Neil deGrasse Tyson
www.colbertnation.com
Colbert Report Full Episodes Political Humor & Satire Blog</a> March to Keep Fear Alive

While I do like to upset theists, I would prefer to do so positively. I much prefer the signs that have said, "Millions of Americans are good without gods." The Huntsville sign seems too reactionary to be anything other than counter-productive, unless pissed-off Christians is your desired product. But I have noticed that Christians don't seem to have much to say about the other religions being included (namely Islam), a solipsistic silence that speaks volumes.

Being Mean To Children Is Funny

RIP Glen Shadix

Alabama native Glen Shadix died.

Glen was put through "gay reparative therapy." It failed. And his story is horrifying:



But Glen survived, and we will miss him. Here's 2 musical tributes for Glen!

From Beetle Juice, for being the great Otho:



And from The Nightmare Before Christmas, for being Halloween Town's Mayor:



And, less famously, he was the preacher in the, "I love my dead gay son," scene in Heathers.



I love my dead gay Glen!

We're Still National Champions

Your gods demand tears for your epic fail!

Just in case you forgot, the Crimson Tide is still the National Champions.

49th By The Grace Of...

I always say that Alabama's state motto is "49th by the grace of Mississippi." But now, we're 48th by the grace of Arizona. Seriously, this law is so sick that--should all the world be turned into a radioactive waste heap save Arizona--I will die of fire and cancer and starvation before I go there.

I'm sure police in Arizona don't have anything better to do than randomly search brown people for evidence of citizenship.

"Papers please, and sieg heil y'all!" What a bunch of fascist ass hats.

Still Funny, Sadly Still Relevant

I [heart] Tom Lehrer:

Born In Alabama

Lesbian by birth.

From her interviews, she and John Noble are great friends and have a lot of fun filming the best show on TV now.

It shows, doesn't it?

THE commercial

The making of is excellent as well:

Christian Supplications Quelched By Tactical Indefatigability

After being ahead until the 4th quarter at home, Auburn (the 19-ranked "Christian" university in the country), is vanquished by an NFL-quality, clock-eating, "I-ain't-losing-to these-backward-ass-cow-fuckers" drive by Alabama.



We crushed their hopes; the salty tears taste sweet.

Alabama's LCS May Just Get Picked

Just replace the mast with a stealthy column to support SPY-1F radars

With a new focus on ballistic missile defense, the Navy needs Aegis frigates. The problem is, the Littoral Combat Ships it's trying out are not the frigates it needs: they are multi-purpose pirate chasers and mine hunters. For half their cost, that would be fine. But they are turning out to be insufferably expensive, and we'll likely only need a handful for the mine-hunting, pirate-deterring role.

However, with a few modifications, the General Dynamics version may just work. It could be modified to an Aegis frigate. All that is needed is for the light radar SPY-1F to be amped up enough to detect in-coming ballistic missiles. That may take some money and time, but it would save the class and spare the US from having to start a new frigate class. And a cost of roughly $800 million would be a bargain. The GD competitor, however, could not support the SM-3, the Navy's anti-ballistic missile missile. So we may just be building frigates here after all...

"If I Had My Way You'd Wear That Uniform For The Rest Of Your Pecker-Suckin' Life"

I went to see Inglourious Basterds. It is a spaghetti western set in Nazi-occupied France. And it is brilliant. I'll have to see it a couple of times more before I conclude that it's Quentin Tarantino's best film, but right now for me it is.

The All-American Weapon Of The Hostel "Bear Jew"

I am not surprised that the film is popular in Germany. After generations of guilt, and media-driven apologetics of "oh, but there were good Nazis who opposed Hitler," I understand the catharsis from seeing one's shameful historic, horrifying past put to a revenge fantasy. I was born in and now live in Alabama, and I wish this treatment would be done to the civil rights movement in the south. As someone who abhores the history of this fair state and yet is a product of it, I would relish in an anti-George Wallace revenge fantasy.

"There's a special level in hell for those who waste good scotch."

I would add that, were there a hell, another, lower level would be reserved for cowardly bigots who can't accept shame and defeat. That level would be filled with those southern "Americans" who still fetishise the Confederate flag. Can we start carving that symbol into their foreheads, since they are all too timid to do it themselves?

One Of These Is Not Like The Other Ones

Take a look at the list of "The Most Religious" Colleges in the US. One can't help but notice that 2 Alabama "institutions of higher learning"--Samford and our arch-rival Auburn--make the list. I wish those were the most disturbing entries, but they are not. Take a look at #14:

United States Air Force Academy

I could go into a huge tirade here, but I'll leave it to this: who planned the disastrous Iraq invasion? The one where we bombed the infrastructure of a civilian population that was supposed to welcome our occupation (and proselytizing) with flowers and candy as they died in the dark of dysentery and chaos? Here's a hint: they believe in Super Jesus, American Christian primacy, and the John-the-Revelator apocalypse somewhere between a backwards Birmingham Southern Baptist fundamentalist bible college and an east-of-nowhere shitstain public university called Auburn.

The Air Force Academy is in Colorado Springs, Colorado. Guess who else is located there: Focus on the Family, the disgusting anti-Enlightenment group of stupefied bigots headed by the odious James Dobson.

The Air Force is in charge of most of our nuclear arsenal. Sleep well...

43 Knots At Less Than Full Power

The USS Independence (LCS 2), the prototype frigate built in our fair state, started sea trials. Wired has a pretty good article about it; the Navy Times reports that some problems have arisen (not uncommon) but that she clocked 43 kts without pushing her engines to maximum.

Wee!

Seen It

The Space and Rocket Center is getting a huge Star Wars exhibit. It's pretty cool: I saw it in Boston late 2006.

At Least She Looks Menacing

The USS Independence (LCS-2) In Mobile Bay, Looking Bad-Ass Anyway, With Its Two Nacelles

The US Navy has ordered a second General Dynamics Littoral Combat Ship (LCS), the one built in Mobile. I have serious misgivings about this warship concept, which seems exorbitantly expensive for lightly armed, lightly armored frigates (with no Aegis air defense and aluminum hulls).

The Navy is trying out 2 designs, and their asking for another of the GD design may be a good sign. If they were in love with the other design (one of which was completed first and another ordered months ago), the second of the GD design would never have been funded. With dozens planned, winning the competition would be great news for our fair state.

That being said, I would scrap the whole program and build Aegis frigates based on the Norwegian Nansen class. But I do like the name of the ordered warship: USS Coronado.

And she does look bad-ass, nacelles and all:

The USS Independence, Front View

Outbreak! Here!

We gots the pig virus! And by "we," I mean right here where I live.

The Alabama Department of Public Health is supposed to fill us in with the details soon. But given this state's history, they'll probably tell us to pray and hold exorcisms for the afflicted.

I Still Hate The Fuckers

The Alabama House of Representatives passed a bill adding homos and lesbos to the current anti-hate crime laws. They did this the same week they supported Ms. California for giving a technically wrong answer badly when asked if gays should be allowed to marry (read: use the same water fountain as tax-sucking breeders).

Even this victory is bittersweet: transgenders were not included. And I stopped giving money to the HRC for this very reason: they supported a national bill which included gays and lesbians but excluded trangenders. And the latter are the people who are targeted and victimized the most. In my raging, angry opinion, we all of us go or none of us do. How can any gay dude look a tranny in the eye and say, "Well, at least we're protected...we'll get to you later."

That said: fuck our House of Representitives sideways with a chainsaw. I wouldn't walk across the street to jack off on a one of them. And a goodly many might like that...

Alabamastan, indeed

Honoring Miss California
Neal Boortz

The Alabama legislature has decided that they have nothing else left to do. All of Obama's stimulus money has been spent. All local Little League baseball teams have been congratulated. So now they are moving on to Miss California. The House approved a resolution praising Miss California Carrie Prejean for speaking out against gay marriage.

Now there is a great use of your tax dollars. Sure am glad there are no more pressing issues in Alabamastan. It's not that I disagree with the resolution, it's just that there are more pressing issues to deal with. Also .. the resolution should have said something about aftermarket equipment.

This story is useless without video, right?

And If He Wins, I'm Running To Another State...Make That Country

Roy Moore, the modern idol of all morondom, says he'll probably run for governor of Alabama. Again? Oh dear.

Some quotes from True Christian(TM), noted judicial scholar, and Real American(TM) Non-Activist (unless Jesus needs judicial activism) Judge Roy Moore:

• It can have a secular purpose and have a relationship to God because God was presumed to be both over the state and the church, and separation of church and state was never meant to separate God from government.
  
• It would bother me if a judge told me how I had to believe. (irony...meter...busted...)
  
• The First Amendment to the Constitution reflects that concept recognized in the Ten Commandments, that the duties we owe to God and the manner of discharging those duties are outside the purview of government. (Where in these commandments is government mentioned once, let alone its "purview" defined?)
  
• The point is that knowledge of God is not prohibited under the First Amendment. (WTF?)
  
• I stand before the Court of the Judiciary because I've done my oath. I've kept my oath. I have acknowledged God as the moral foundation of our law.
  
• God has chosen this time and this place so we can save our country and save our courts for our children. (Always for the children...)
• I believe that God is leading me to uphold the laws in Alabama and guide its policies. (His imaginary friend tells him how to uphold laws?)
  

And my favorite:

To disfavor practicing homosexuals in custody matters is not invidious discrimination, nor is it legislating personal morality. On the contrary, disfavoring practicing homosexuals in custody matters promotes the general welfare of the people of our State in accordance with our law, which is the duty of its public servants. Providing for the common good involves maintaining a public morality through both our criminal and civil codes, based upon the principles that right conscience demands, without encroaching on the jurisdiction of other institutions and the declared rights of individuals.

The State may not interfere with the internal governing, structure, and maintenance of the family, but the protection of the family is a responsibility of the State. Custody disputes involve decision-making by the State, within the limits of its sphere of authority, in a way that preserves the fundamental family structure. The State carries the power of the sword, that is, the power to prohibit conduct with physical penalties, such as confinement and even execution. It must use that power to prevent the subversion of children toward this lifestyle, to not encourage a criminal lifestyle.

Roy Moore believes that being a homo is a "criminal lifestyle." And he's running for governor. Of my state.

Although, it might be fun to find out exactly what it takes to force Obama to send the National Guard into Montgomery. Criminal persecution of homos? Giant crosses on public grounds? Ten Commandments posted in all schools? Prosecution of university professors for "subverting the family" by teaching not-the-bible? Who knows what crazy, anti-constitutional, bible-banging nonsense will cause our first black president to send in the National Guard. To Alabama. To stop a governor.

I changed my mind! I'm in: you can count on my vote Roy.

Judge Roy Moore reading something about graven images.

Thanks to Ed Brayton.