Christer Dominionists Are A Bunch Of Tone-deaf Crybabies

I watched Jesus Camp last night. Even for a seasoned TBN viewer like me, watching the movie was equal parts disturbing and embarrassing: I was disturbed to see these kids being brainwashed, and I was embarrassed for their foolishness.

But the crying...Christ on the cross on the hill, the crying! Apparently, evangelicals really do take the bible literally, because the kids--aping their parents--cry and cry and cry. Then they cry some more. When they're done crying they cry about it. What's that girl on the cover doing? CRYING. Hell, this movie had more fucking crying than Michael Bay movies have CGI. There was less fucking crying at Princess Dianna's funeral, for Christ's sake! These emotionally retarded sectarians should have a charity called "Weep-off for Jesus"; I bet it would last for months. But then again, Jesus was a sissy.

It's so transparent (to borrow the word from Tobermory) how ridiculous and false these beliefs are. God will end abortion and put prayer in school if you break cups with the word "government" written on it. Come on. If some backwater shaman did this in the third world, they would call it voodoo. Heaven was changed by Jesus Camp, because "God listens to the cries of his children." I thought they cried* because their god inspired them to. Let that swim in your brain for a second, and you'll come to the same conclusion I did: their god talks to himself through credulous pre-teens. Sign me up to worship that sick weirdo!

And it goes on. America went to hell when they took prayer out of our schools (using the same faulty "reasoning," I can show how it happened when they let those curs-ed Negroes use the Whites' water fountains). Fetuses are people, the gays aren't. America was founded on "Judeo-Christian values." This latter assertion is so laughable, yet they just keep saying it. Pop quiz: name the book and chapter of their bible in which Yahweh demands all nations be democratic republics, have a bicameral legislature, and maintain an independent judiciary? Where is the Bill of Rights in the bible? How many of the 10 commandments does the First Amendment break? And of course, the Constitution originally counted slaves as 3/5 of a person, which is, anybody? Anybody? YES, exactly 3/5 more than what they counted to the old testament's patriarchs.

While most of the movie made me frightened for my life, liberty, and pursuit of alcohol, I must admit the Ted Haggard part was pretty funny. What a fag.

*More with the crying...in this case the implication was "crying out" during which they blubber and sob while blathering nonsense. Perhaps that's just their brains leaking out...