The "War on Easter"

We all knew the Christers were going to start bleating about a "War on Easter," just like Christmas, but who knew it would be so funny? Check this out from an extraordinarily ignorant imbecile named Charlotte Allen.

Each time I would be shocked to realize that I was a member of a dwindling minority of people who regarded Good Friday as different from the other 51 Fridays in the year.

Because it's not; time doesn't stop, space doesn't split open, lions don't lie down with lambs, Skittles don't fall from the sky...It's a Friday.

Next she sets her irony phaser to stun: cooking magazines and the Emerald Isle share in the blame.

My latest issue of Fine Cooking magazine arrived the other day, featuring what would have been known in former times as an Easter dinner: roast lamb, asparagus soup, angel food cake. Here, it’s identified as a “spring” dinner, and the issue otherwise contains not a hint that some of its readers might wish to mark the spring by celebrating Jesus’ triumph over death. Not even a recipe for dyed eggs or baby chick-shaped cookies graces the pages of the magazine.

More ominously still, St. Patrick’s Day falls this year during Holy Week for the first time since 1940. The usual green-beer binges did not abate in honor of the solemnity of this week. The saint himself, famous for having brought the bonfires of the Easter Vigil to Ireland, may well turn over in his grave.

Now they're upset that there are TWO religious holidays in the same week? And that some of that religion chose to make one fun? And that cooking magazines won't teach their Christian audience (apparently the only audience worth considering) how to make cute pagan symbols? What do they want Fine Cooking to do, add a step in every recipe that says, "Stop and thank Jesus for dying but then not really dying 3 days later?"

The “Easter parades” of yore in which people strolled in their finery after church are much diminished, if they continue to exist at all.

When the hell was "yore?" I don't ever remember such things. And what does wearing nice clothes and walking down the street with other people have to do with the magical, mythical resurrection of a mystic rebel Jew?

Most importantly, why is this deeply religious bible reader not complaining about the lack of Passover observance? It is a very biblical holiday, after all. What's behind her "War on Moses?"


Thanks to Ed Brayton.