Why I [Heart] Keith Olbermann

Ok, so, he's a liberal. But he is an ESPN alumnus. Compared to his arch nemesis, Bill O'Fuckface, he's more than credible. I've become tired of Fox News, as they are now all Bush hacks who use the fifth column, American flag graphics, big-titty blondes, and anti-patriot accusations as shields against serious discussions and as bats to bludgeon anyone who may think the President may have made a bad decision one time maybe.

After the President's speech last night--after I had wiped the spittle dripping from my lip from regurgitating my left-overs supper, and after flushing the remnants down the toilet--I tried to compose my thoughts. I couldn't: I had work to do.

Thankfully, Keith did it for me tonight.

Keith, I may not agree with you always, but when I do...thank you, you glorious mother fucker.

See for yourself. Better to click on the video on the right. The advert only takes 30 seconds, and it's better to watch him say it than to read it.

Now you SOB's know exactly how I feel.

Onion Sports: Bill Parcells: 'I've Always Hated Football'. - This pretty much explains my feelings about coaching football these days - GT.

Picture Malfunction

Paul, you should probably save the picture and then upload it to blogger and put it in the post, making it smaller, or we, and anyone who comes to the blog, will have to log in to Mallet every time we come to the blog. Damnit.

Birthday is in May, it's never to early to think about gifts.

"Black Books", or, I think Clyde Squid is moonlighting

A series recommended by Clyde S. himself. Not only does Bernard Black (Dylan Moran) look a lot M. Squid but he has Bernard's same misanthropic & dipsomaniacal disposition. Love the show & am not surprised Graham Linehan of Father Ted was involved.

Hot Damn!....Damn it all ta Heyell!

Good news: new Squidbillies this year.
Bad news: new Squidbillies this fall.

Them Atlanta boys better start animatinizing their squidations faster.

Nashville Mini-Mallet Reunion

pic removed....

Cassondra, please note the Fanny-pack, worn just for your viewing pleasure.

How Much Cash You Guys Got?

Hey, let's chip in and buy a country....Sealand is for sale!

Apparently this one-toilet-having country has fallen on hard times, and is up for grabs to the highest bidder

Knight Rider 2007?

I'll prolly never own another Ford, but this talking car thing sounds cool.

Yeah, But Can It Fly?

No, unfortunately. But the Chevy Volt sounds interesting. I've not been a fan of any of the hybrids that I've driven, but I'm certainly in favor of a "plug in car", though I promise to make up for the lost carbon emissions by grilling spotted owls over charcoal made of redwoods in my backyard.

A letter to a coaching friend.

I've heard in other places that Sexton contacted Moore after Mississippi State, when it was getting to be pretty likely that Shula was going to go. I think that Saban and Mal did this thing exactly like tons of other coaching changes have been done. I only wish Saban had said, "I don't expect to be the coach of Alabama" instead of "I won't". That was a mistake. I think he kinda got badgered into it, but a standard, "No comment" would have been much better.

I really do think that Shula did not quite have it in him. I am the same age as him and was a football tutor when he was there & I've always like the guy. He was not ready when he took over, but he bailed us out in a terrible situation. He started out with that disastrous press conference, but he did improve in public. From what I understand several of the coaches, especially the line coach & the strength coach (as in your note) were not up to it and he wouldn't make the changes. I've heard from guys down there that they just didn't work hard (which you & I know could contribute to all the 4th quarter fades). Shula had a very NFL attitude, not a teacher/coach attitude to player development, workouts, & discipline. You know that Juwan (Garth) Simpson is from Austin, so there was alot of focus on his situation & Shula here. Even he, the embarrassment, said that Shula was lax & no one ever actually feared getting in trouble with him. The playcalling is a matter for debate - I can't say precisely 'how' it was bad, but something they were doing down close was clearly awful. If you don't blow them off the ball, you have to do something else besides up the middle, no matter how much that appeals to me.

I think Saban will win. I think it is a minor miracle that Mal was able to get him. I was afraid we could no longer get a top coach. There are no Bama guys left really. Saban is a hardcore discipline and character guy (despite the hiring debacle) and he is an incredible recruiter, look at LSU even now. He will not suffer fools, he will have a system, a schedule and a plan. He's from West Virginia, which was in the south until 1863, and he's an immigrant's grandson who used to work at his dad's filling station when he was 11 years old for a dollar an hour. I can take that. His wife is a lot like yours - she's deeply involved in the program, feeding recruits, keeping an eye on academics, raising money, talking to the players about her husband when he's not there. I really think she wanted to get back to college as much or more than him.

It's been an ugly hire, and Shula clearly took one for the team in this (his dad, one of my heroes, has looked bad the last couple of days). We know how coaching goes. I think Saban will kick butt and take names and Alabama will be where we should be. He's not cuddly, and he's a tough SOB.

There is a dark truth here as well:
I want to shut Auburn people up so badly I can't stand it. 5 years of losing in a split town is an eternity. I've been embarrassed by my team's results and the smirking by Aubies and UT fans stops right now. They all fear what is coming, and that's what I want - I want the fear back in their eyes and I want the gdmf smirking and cocky smiles to all go away. I want to be hated and not laughed at anymore. Saban can bring that, I don't think Shula ever could. There I said it.

A neat time-waster

"Am I Right: Making Fun of Music. One Song at a Time. Misheard lyrics (also called mondegreens) occur when people misunderstand the lyrics in a song..... These are NOT intentional rephrasing of lyrics, which is called parody. For more information about the misheard lyrics available on this site, please read our FAQ."

R.E.M.'s, "Losing My Religion"

Misheard Lyrics:

Consider this
The smurf that brought me to my knees failed

Original Lyrics:

Consider this
The slip that brought me to my knees failed

The Police's, "Spirits In The Material World"

Misheard Lyrics:

Asperger's syndrome for Muriel Ward.

Original Lyrics:

We are spirits in the material world.

Everybody okay?

A little slow in the posting, it seems that the New Year has slowed us down. I'm guessing everyone is pleased that we have our new Head Coach and that the ordeal is done & are hard at work for the new Year. We enjoyed the visits by all of y'all and look forward to seeing you again. Alright, vacation is over, start posting!

GOT OPTIMISM?

THE WORLD'S LEADING THINKERS SEE GOOD NEWS AHEAD
- The Edge.

And Don't You Forget It.

“It’s the greatest job in America.” - Joe Kines.
“I don’t believe that junk about too much expectation,” he said. “That’s what’s wrong with the world anyway. Too many people settle for average. “We’re not going to settle for average at Alabama.” - Joe Kines.
“There are some things at Alabama that I am really, really going to miss,” Rader said. “Probably at the top of that list is the Alabama player, and how hard the Alabama player plays. I don’t know if that started with Wallace Wade, or with Frank Thomas, but it is real. I saw it when I was here the first time [as an assistant to Ray Perkins] and I saw it today.” - Dave Rader.
But the new coach won’t face the far tougher task that often accompanies a regime change, or a rebuilding job. He won’t have to instill the will to win. - Cecil Hurt.
That’s why Alabama is, as Kines recognized, a great job... And it’s why the person who does might be closer than the world thinks to achieving greatness. - Cecil Hurt.
Column Link.