Case Study: Sawing Off The Branch You're Sitting On

You HAVE to watch this and marvel at the 3-ring circus of oblivious stupidity required for a priest on Bizarro Foxy and Friends to reach a point he didn't mean to make.



Of course, you all know who I pray to, for all the good He does:

"I have no choice, Clyde Squid; I can't meet supplications of that magnitude!"

Pesky Archives Beat Infallible Pope

For someone with a direct psychic line to a being who knows everything, the pope sure does miss a lot. For instance, Captain Beard In The Sky didn't tell him that historians have archives with things like this:


Here's the translation:

Why is a Catholic obliged to vote for the parliamentary list of Adolf Hitler? Because in the National Socialist state intrinsically and through the Reichskonkordat

1. the Faith is protected,

2. peace with the Church is assured,

3. public morality is preserved,

4. Sunday is hallowed,

5. Catholic schools are maintained,

6. the Catholic conscience is no longer burdened,

7. a Catholic has equal rights before the law and in the life of the nation,

8. Catholic organisations and associations, insofar as they exclusively serve religious, charitable and cultural purposes, can operate freely.

Therefore a Catholic is obliged on 12 November [1933] to vote thus:

Referendum: yes

Parliamentary election: Adolf Hitler

I'll expect my apology in a century, when there are 5 Catholics left.

"Joseph Ratzinger Is An Enemy Of Humanity."

The horrid, reprobate little cur who heads the world's sickest international crime syndicate visited the UK last week. And the first thing he did was to blame atheists for all of the horrible things Nazi Catholics and Lutherans did.

No one need take such insolent, deceitful, vacuous bullshit from the likes of that wheezing octogenarian in his blood-soaked Versace mu-mu. Least of all Richard Dawkins, who gave a firebrand speech so electrifying and damning that it will make you cheer.

These People...

"I Love Jesus"

I know you all loved the "Fuck The Mother Fucker" I posted by Tim Minchin. I had never heard of him until I watched that video on Pharyngula. And like I posted, it's like someone filmed the dialogue in my head.

Well, I bought Tim Minchin's last album on iTunes. And I must insist that all reading this go to iTunes and buy, "I Love Jesus." Buy it. Seriously, buy it. It deserves our money.

He's one of our people, and I can't recommend his work enough.

It's Like They Filmed My Inner Dialogue

Definitely NSFW.

The Counsil For Secular Humanism's Free Expression Cartoon Contest Winner

While I'm Picking On Them...

...why stop with the child rapes? Catholics are weird:

Dawkins On The Vatican

Getting atheists to agree is like herding cats. But point out a wounded gazelle and the pride all pounces at once. From The Washington Post:

No, Pope Ratzinger should not resign. He should remain in charge of the whole rotten edifice - the whole profiteering, woman-fearing, guilt-gorging, truth-hating, child-raping institution - while it tumbles, amid a stench of incense and a rain of tourist-kitsch sacred hearts and preposterously crowned virgins, about his ears.

Hitchens And Maher On The Vatican

Atheist = Hate

White House officials met today with representatives from the Secular Coalition for America. The hysterical responses by right-wing Christians could just as easily be the predictions by any thinking person of what those people would say. Case in point, the irony-deficient Catholic League spokesperson/apologist/sole member Bill Donahue:

In an unprecedented move, leaders of a presidential administration are hosting some of the biggest anti-religious zealots in the nation.

A photo for Bill to ponder over:

In a very precedented move, a President is hosting one of the biggest anti-atheist* zealots in the world: President Bush pictured with cross-dressing daywalker Pope Benedict XVI.

*Also anti-Protestant, anti-Muslim, anti-gay, anti-women, anti-rationalism, and anti-child molestation investigations

If The Pope Doesn't Use His Holy Powers To Stop You From Watching It On Showtime On Demand

Check out Penn & Teller's "Bullshit" on the Vatican.

Blaspheme. Blaspheyou. Blaspheeverybody!

Superstitious Idiot Makes Appeal For That Which He Works Against

Pope Panzerkraut The First asked his god for a new year of peace. As they all have asked...even as Jews were slaughtered, gypsies murdered, thinkers and libertines tortured and executed, and infidels persecuted and exiled...on the Church's instructions and with its blessings. That's some wish.

And a septuagenarian virgin in a very expensive dress; a mountebank who calls for extreme giving whilst advocating austere living as a virtue: an ornery self-indulgent mystic who allegedly has a direct line with the entire universe's creator, he has the (unused) balls to say on this day--a day actually like any other--during which thousands die of preventable disease, religious wars, and ignorance-induced famine and pestilence:

"If people look only to their own interests, our world will certainly fall apart."

FUCK YOU ASSHOLE!!!

"This is the best I can do. I learned it as a child."

An Open Letter To Barney Frank

Ridicule is the only weapon which can be used against unintelligible propositions. Ideas must be distinct before reason can act upon them; and no man ever had a distinct idea of the trinity. It is the mere Abracadabra of the mountebanks calling themselves the priests of Jesus.

Thomas Jefferson

Dear Barney Frank,

I heard your interview today on Sirius OutQ's liberal political talk show. You disagreed with the gay movement's protests of the LDS church. I could not disagree more with your position, which takes pragmatism to the level of inefficacy.

Protests do not fall on deaf ears; when done correctly, they bring attention to hypocrisy, injustice, and irrationality. And that's what the gays are doing. I dare say that you would not oppose such protests 35 years ago, when the Mormons were openly racist. The only difference is back then California didn't pass a proposition that would institutionalize the Mormons' definition of a religious leader, thereby preventing non-whites from being recognized as priests, reverends, etc. But they now have succeeded in making their religion's (current) definition of marriage into that of the government of California, an imposition of religious opinion that will in 35 years seem just as absurd and irrational as my hypothetical one.

When we're done with the Mormons, we'll turn our fabulous wrath to the Followers of Cathol, whose hypocrisy concerning gay issues and marriage (and just about every other modern ethical stance) is equally foie-gras rich. I celebrate the gays' channeling of their outrage by protesting these theocratic "mountebanks," metaphorically sticking their $400 Pradas up the superstitious twats' asses. My only criticism is that it is far too little, far too late, and a terrible thing to do to Italian leather.

Just be thankful I'm not organizing these protests: my ire towards these religions eclipses anything said or done to date. Do not these institutions also promote the abhorrent positions that latex is worse than HIV, that a woman's birth canal is subject to religious divinations concerning pregnancy, and that patriarchy should trump gender equality?

So please be quiet as we gays do what we always have done best: make trouble. We lost the battle on Prop 8 because no one wanted to be the pudding stick, and now is the time to take this all as seriously as we should personally. Our opponents thought nothing of our feelings or sentiments, let alone our lives and our ability to lead them as we see fit. They never once considered other religious views concerning the gays and marriage, and they dismissed our unanswered arguments while distorting our positions. Therefore, ridiculing their CHOICE of mysticism and their unreasonable insistence on making it California's de facto source of law fails to twiddle even a single sympathetic or empathetic neuron in my body. No belief is too sacred to be protested, mocked, scorned, or (the horrors) debunked intellectually.

I'm sure in Massachusetts, and in Washington DC, how far we have come and possible near-term gains hold primacy. And they may even provide us all with a measure of comfort and help ground us in our losses. But from the point of view of a gay atheist in north Alabama, no peaceful expression of outrage at the disgusting lies, celebrated ignorance, and faith-justified bigotry of religious fundamentalists is too much. That you can't relate to this position perhaps indicates the over-extension of your career in politics.

You should spend more time arguing our case to your peers in Washington (your history shows how woefully inadequate and exceedingly poor you are to that end), and less time criticizing us for taking our case to the opponents of reason and equality across America.

In short, shut your upper boy hole and go do something or someone productive.

Pope Panzer Kraut The First Just Blew Out My Irony Meter

Pope condemns 'pagan' love of money, power

But since this is coming from the boche head of a theocratic city-state AND of a financially unaccountable religious racket that rakes in millions upon millions of tax-free dollars every year, I guess 'Christian' love of power and money is virtuous.

"I 'Jesus-love' power and money tthhiiss much!"