Eddie Izzard: Stoned Olympics

Mommy Needs These Special Tic-Tacs To Stop The Pain

The moral, Bible-believing, Jesus saves, get right with Gawed, pious South is full of drug abusers. The Holy Spirit must be filling out prescriptions.

All 50 states saw increases in the distribution of hydrocodone between 2001 and 2005. But the trend was particularly significant in the South, where all the top 10 states in terms of increased distribution are located, according to the DEA. Four of the top five -- Tennessee, West Virginia, Kentucky and Alabama

But when you live a suppressed life full of self-inflicted shame and ignorance, and when Rush Limbaugh is your role model, what can one expect? Just remember, those bitter mommies at Publix, the ones with the Laura Bush smiles, the Courtney Love eyes, the gaudy $500 cross necklaces, and the horrifying broods of screaming failures running all about the place: they're just one pill over giving a shit.

Simply unbelievable.

This 'war on drugs' is one of the sinkholes that are destroying the 'modern world': In Florida a man was sentenced to 25 years for possessing 58 pills for which he had a legal prescription - in Reason. (The decision was reversed).