2.23.2007

No chimpy, that's a bad chimpy!

Chimpanzees are now on everyone's shit list. They're on the creationists' shit list, because they are capable of doing something all too human: make spears. They're on conservatives' shit list, because it's the females making the spears, and chicks shouldn't be in combat. They're on feminists' shit list for the same reason: women aren't aggressive, men are. They're on environmentalists' shit list because they're hunting--get this--cute little bush babies (insert obvious Democrat/Bush babies/Bush twins joke here; I don't do the easy ones)!

On a related note, I saw a great documentary about chimpanzee's cousins (and ours), bonobos. Christers should beware of letting their children see these things on TV and in zoos; they are immoral devil beasts. Not only do Evil-lutionists maintain that we are distantly related to these wonderful primates, but they regularly engage in promiscuous sex, including homo sex. And females are dominant. Clearly, the christer gods fucked up on that design.

The most touching moment of the documentary is when you learn that around 50 wildlife preserve rangers were murdered protecting the bonobos during the Second Congo War. People were so desparate, they were hunting the apes for food and accusing the rangers of being spies.

2 comments:

  1. *snicker* Nature yields to no one's dogma.

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  2. I don't know, it's a short leap from spears to smart bombs. Maybe we should grease 'em all now?

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