Birmingham's Mayoral Scandal Just Got Gay

From the Daily Voice:

McCullom says the mayor wore a sackcloth and Rolex watch in April as he led a prayer rally against crime. "Oh and a children's charity founded by Langford is also being investigated by the feds for lavishly spending money and writing checks to a gay porn star Ryan Idol," according to McCullom. "None of this sounds very Christian," he writes.

This guy needs to watch TBN more: it sounds VERY Christian to me. It sounds like the corrupt buffoonery of a very loathsome, superstitious man-child. Birmingham sure knows how to pick 'em!

Mayor DumDum Update!

The SEC has just charged Mayor DumDum in connection with a municipal bond scheme! What power prayer has! Oh, it hurts to laugh now! Jesus, these people are a whoot!

Birmingham Got What They Voted For

Birmingham's ridiculous mayor, Larry Langford, was elected last year over a competent, honest candidate. Langford is known for building "Visionland," a Christian theme park that shortly went bankrupt, and for wanting Birmingham to have a domed stadium that no one wants or needs. Everyone knew his election meant several years of crass foolishness; most just hoped it would be contained locally. Nope.

Mayor Langford, in response to a sharp rise in crime, ordered a sackcloth and ashes day of prayer. As if that superstitious non-response to a very real problem were not enough, check out the actual proclamation. The man's not just fiberboard stupid, he's fucking illiterate.

...fourth violent city per capital...

Congratulations to Birmingham's Mayor DumDum!

If this doesn't work, are sacrifices next? Propitiation!

Haul Of The Kraken

You can find the strangest things walking around Southside. More info here, oddly.

Call Up The Bunde! We Need A Bonfire!

Republics are meant to not please everybody, but to accommodate everybody peacefully. Apparently, Birmingham's public school systems aren't teaching that. And the offended are not amused by reason. What is the reasonable justification for this book's being present on a public library's shelves?

"It's a cautionary tale for teenagers that oral sex is sex," Smith told The Tuscaloosa News. "You serve a wide range of people in a library, and you have to have something for all of them."

You want a place where your particular beliefs are not offended publicly, try a religious dictatorship. Last time I checked, the world has them in spades. Otherwise, live with it. All of us atheists live with constant threats of eternal, immortal, unfathomable torture; and we endure multiple fallacious and erroneous charges that our position is not scientific, offers no hope, has been completely rebutted by Christianity's apologetics, and results in evil. You think that's less offensive than your kid learning that blow jobs are a sexual act? Up yours! You don't see atheists asking that the bible be taken off the shelves of libraries for condoning slavery, misogyny, and genocide.

When will these people grow up? Haven't they become the same tyrannical absurdities of the 90's left who wanted Huckleberry Finn banned because it used the word "nigger?" Jesus take the wheel if the kid checks out this book.

Sunday Fun

Patton Oswalt will be at The Bottle Tree Sunday.

Clear Your Calender Now!

Richard Dawkins in Birmingham October 3.

Cocktails at my place before and after.

Mommy, Mommy! I Had The 'Nam Dream Again!

Where I will be Wednesday night.

Who says Birmingham isn't fun?

Look At All The Delicious Medicine!

Free The Hops (which has a most enlightening website) is holding the Magic City Brewfest tonight at Sloss Furnace. Here's an organization we can all get behind: one that demands that Alabama repeal its ridiculous beer laws.

I was in North Carolina when they repealed their equally absurd beer laws. As far as I know, the state has not burned to the ground, endured any pharaonic plagues, sunk into Sheol, or been struck by a celestial body. And the beer we got was really, really good.

ASO Strikes Back

In yet another addition of "Why I [Heart] Highland Park," the Alabama Symphony Orchestra is in the middle of its Sounds of Summer series. It takes place in Caldwell Park, a 3-minute walk from where I live. Last night was "The ASO Strikes Back," and as you might have guessed it was all Star Wars. Here are some pictures.
The park was pretty packed for a $20 dollar/head event. The McWane Center sponsored a sleep-over event in conjunction with this, so lots of kids were there, many dressed up. After the concert they headed to McWane to play in the museum and (hopefully) learn about science through science fiction.
The 501st was there, and the kids were loving it.
This little boy wanted to know why Leia didn't come dressed in her Tatooine bikini.

The best thing: the symphony was eating this shit up. They were clearly having a good time. Several of the women in the symphony came with their hair in Leia buns, and the conductor told stories about how the music had inspired him at an early age. And it was such a pretty night too. Very memorable and a lot of fun.

Target The Rainbow Yarmulkes

Americans like to think of Israel as progressive--and it is compared to its neighbors--but that doesn't mean much. Take this news of the upcoming gay pride parade in Jerusalem. You have to love this triumph of religious fervor, the suggestions/threats by far-right Jews that they may respond by:

blocking the streets to haredi neighborhoods and physically striking out at gay businesses and venues that are open on the Sabbath

Cute. Isn't it strange how gay Jews marching in a parade is tolerated more in Birmingham, AL than in Jerusalem? Sure, there are protesters, but they don't throw feces or destroy businesses.

Why is "God's Holy Land" such a shit-hole? Jesus Christ...

Do Dah Day

For those of you who don't know, Do Dah Day is a festival to raise money for animal-based charities. It takes place in my neighborhood, the Historic Highland Park district of Southside Birmingham. Here are some pictures from this year's event last Saturday:

The Greyhound Rescue float (Egyptian themed) from the parade...such beautiful, magnificent animals!

I now patron Firehouse Subs, for their support of dog rescue and for their somehow getting an antique fire engine for the parade.

A view of Caldwell Park, one of the 3 Highland Parks, 2 of which were packed on this occasion (the third, Rushton, is too "hilly," but sits beside the only place that makes a margarita I can drink, Rojo). There were bands, vendors, and lots and lots of cute doggies. They even had a turtle rescue group. It was all I could do to not adopt a dog, and one of my neighbors did just that: a very cute, criminally emaciated, abandoned--at the festival--yellow lab mix with the temper of the most loving human imaginable (the mere semblance to whom she had probably never been exposed until Saturday). By the way, this is half a block from my apartment! I [heart] Historic Highland Park!

While I didn't adopt a dog, I did take my niece, whose momma put her in a yellow sun dress.

Mark Your Calanders

For those of you near the Birmingham area, remember that the Crawfish Boil is May 4-5 at Railroad Reservation Park (or what's built of it). Among other's I don't care too much for, Cracker and Collective Soul are playing. Plus, did I mention CRAWFISH BOIL!! It's a great event with great food, and it's for a good cause (I presume; don't ask me what it is...I don't do causes).

City Stages isn't until June, and the line-up is not looking too good (Poison? Are they shitting me?). I know I have to go to it, but I always end up more cranky and less drunk than the previous time I went. And they don't let you play in the fountains anymore. Stupid heath codes...

Does Downtown Birmingham Need a 70,000 -seat Domed Sports Arena?

Private investors seem to think so, to the tune 0f $1.5 billion. The BJCC would get the arena, an "entertainment district," a new hotel, and some condos. Expect our dumb-ass city government to fuck this up in some way.

Of course, what we really need are Krauts making metal. Remember when we made steel here?

Looks Like Birmingham's "Central Park" Is Still On

Jefferson County has decided it is committed to Railroad Reservation Park. Building this thing would be a boon for downtown and Southside, especially if UAB goes forward with their massive greenspace project and the state government gets on board with expanding/renovating the BJCC. It would turn an eyesore, albeit historic, into a urban space worthy of its history.

If you want to see just how cool Railroad Reservation Park would be, click on the architect's site and click on current projects.